i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
God I can't wait to have my phone textbombed every night
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
We need to get me chipped asap
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
Hey this is your roommate. You know the one that let you have sex with her while you called out your exs name and cried?
I have no recollection of that. You must have the wrong number. P.s. your thongs still on the ceiling fan.
Randomize
