I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
I have fence marks all over my body
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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