Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
