You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
