Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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