What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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