So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
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