Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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