ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
there's nothing like watching the sun rise at the library alone on a friday morning to make you want to kill yourself.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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