My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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