I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
barbara walters just said penis...
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
Randomize
