she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
