Ambien. No doubt about it.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
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