does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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