I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
So. Much. Porn.
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