if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Randomize
