i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
PANTIES FOUND
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
