I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
