yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
