we're blogging at a bar
and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Just got home, my brothers stoned and he got a high score on COD.. He just asked me if I wanted to have a celebrational yogurt with him. Wtf?
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Randomize
