And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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