Having a random hookup so left but love u
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
Randomize
