You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
