Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
If someone tells me they're a paramedic, how inappropriate is it for me to ask what their save to kill ratio is?
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
