So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
Randomize
