this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
HOW DO I ALWAS FIND THEM?! THERE WAS BE A SOCIETY OF SMALL PENISED MEN AND I MUST BELONG TO IT!
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
This is classic penis vs brain.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
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