the new term for farting is butt boxing.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
