I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
