whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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