he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
i just ate an entire onion plain. all alone. i have never felt more single in my life
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Remind me to tell you all about the topless girl on the street who attempted to taze me.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
did i just pee glitter
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Not sure she's stomping around my apartment muttering incoherently about wanting to speak to the colonel
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