Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
My gut is currently telling me that Jesus did not intend for us to eat shrimp pad thai on Easter
Is this a considering it or regretting it text?
I just shit out what feels like an entire shrimp with claws and all. You tell me.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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