yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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