i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize
