What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
so let's talk penis.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
Randomize
