i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Randomize
