Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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