The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
