That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
Randomize
