They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
My ATM looks so different sober.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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