I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
