Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
jen just told me ur idea of revenge was saluting while letting his bong float away while attached to some balloons.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
