four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
Randomize
