I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
We just shotgunned beers for America
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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