There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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