Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
No...this little piggys going to the bar
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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