Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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