someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
