Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
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