He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
There are only families here. I'm at the bar alone double fisting drinks. You cannot get any more approachable than I am now.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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