I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
Nothing says happy baby shower like showing up still kinda drunk from last night with an open tall boy in one hand and fries in the other.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
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