Hey man sorry I got all grabby
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Dear sober self: your car keys are in the glove compartment, your car is outside the church. I hope you're reading this from your own bed instead of someone else's.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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