Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
How do you say "I always respond to booty calls" when you give a guy your number?
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
