Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
